rainstorm

it's sunny this afternoon, really perfect weather. the sky started out gray this morning, and poured sheets of rain. the sun came out. and just a few minutes ago, the rain started falling again. it always feels like such a surreal experience, to get caught in the rain on a sunny day...as if on the set of a movie where the tech. got all his timing wrong and showered the actors in the middle of a beach scene...or the middle of a living room.

it reminds me of the summers before middle school, before i got too cool to run around half-naked in the back yard. all we could do to stay cool in that dusty, rural town, in the middle of those blistering summers was to run the sprinklers and the hoses constantly. it was biting cold, but so damn refreshing.

thinking back, it makes me sad to think about all the water we wasted but also appreciative of the level of abandon most of us had at that age, when all we could worry about was staying cool.

i found this here
and thought it was really beautiful

edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros

my new favorite song.
i love these guys.
and they love each other...

forever

it feels like...
i haven't written on this in forever.

so many things have been happening.

bele chere is on! and i am supposedly steadily building stock for the show. (un)fortunately the jewelry has been going so well at hip replacements and elementality that i really haven't had very much time to make downstock for etsy OR the show. this week i am definitely planning on cracking down.

by the end of the month i have to...
-begin studying for the comprehensive exams in the fall
-continue to make downstock (this part i like!)
-begin the reading list i must have completed by august
-work on poetry for my creative thesis proposal/packet

weekly/daily:
-work out-boot camp with my closest friends!
-read!
-clean
-remind myself to go out into the world once in a while so i don't forget how to socialize after deeply creative hibernation
-tell myself that definitive statements ("yes" and "do") aren't as difficult as they seem

school ended two weeks ago, and if i don't start studying for my last semester soon, i am definitely going to lose steam.


there are lots of new things happening to distract me, though! for example....i have been distracted by...
my new HAIRCUT



new room-mate...



new piercing...


new earrings/jewelry!


l'arc...




the yolaine:




this summer is going to be BUSYBUSYBUSY!
but
i am really excited about it, especially because i really feel like i'm surrounded by the best friends of my life.

frustrated!

why, oh, why, can't i think about anything other than art? sitting in class during reviews for finals, i am planning my next necklace. while reciting poetry and memorizing dates, all i can think about is taking photographs. any time i see an image--sometimes even in text books--all i see is new 'pulp' designs.

i have been passionate about writing and literature all my life, but for the first time, i haven't concentrated on grades as a form of self-evaluation. my new philosophy is this: if even just a few books i skimmed over in class impressed upon me enough to pick them up again post-graduation, then school has been good for me. if, while writing, my tense-changes are more apparent, and i'm a better critic of my own work, then school has been worth it.

for such a long time i thought school would be the key to graduating to the next step--grad school, publications, jobs....

now...it just feels like my entire life is on hold in order for me to finish. i am choking on inspiration, suffocating under the weight of all of the beads just begging for my attention.

and relationships?

psshfhhfhffh. forgedaboudit.